just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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