ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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