its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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