Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
