I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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