i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I booty called her while she was in labor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
