thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
