But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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