Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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