I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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