the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
