I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
