Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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