I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
