I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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