how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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