im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize