I hate your face
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
