And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
