Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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