hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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