There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
