i don't like sucking hair
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
