I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
