No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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