I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize