I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bet he comes in French.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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