Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize