I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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