I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
