I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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