i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
