O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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