For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
