So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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