I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
