HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
