After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
