bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
