No, drunk sperm still make babies.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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