I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
