just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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