So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize