I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
