The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
