i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
