If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
