I cannot find my penis.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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