Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize