I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
