Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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