my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
