Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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