Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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