I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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