erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
