hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Semen is not good for contacts.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
